Questions keep coming

I am at a point where the more I learn about Kabbalah the more questions I have. What seems apparent is not. Let me put it this way. Kabbalists tell us that what we see is not really there. Now come on, I see this computer in front of me. But wait, perhaps what I see is only my own perception of reality. Did you ever look at the color of something with a friend and they call it purple and you call it blue?? Maybe that is what they are talking about. Everybody sees the world through their own lenses. Perhaps this is why communcation break down occurs. Sometimes trying to convey a message is very difficult because there are no words to describe what we saw or felt. I am learning that I am not in control, even of my own thoughts. I know that sounds strange but where do the thoughts come from? Like I said, lots and lots of questions and I intend to keep searching for answers. In the meantime I am enjoying this roller coasted they call life because my attitude and perspective is changing. Perhaps it is not the world that is messed up but my own interpretation of it??? Peace, Love, and Light.